 |
| Image from amazingasset.com |
How many of us can say we are doing what we have always
wanted to do since we were young? Very
few of us follow our dreams to fruition of being a singer, fire fighter, fashion
designer, footballer, novelist or whoever we wanted to be when we grew up. We forgot
about it when our parents or careers advisor said,’ you won’t be able to do
that’, or we changed our minds because we got interested in other things. Those
who follow their dreams are the ones who stayed firm in their conviction to do
what they love above all else because they knew that they wouldn’t be happy otherwise.
More of us are now realising the importance of these dreams we had growing up
and are rediscovering them again to ignite our passion and purpose in life.
Changing
career later on in life, particularly in the early thirties is becoming a popular
trend. People are waking up and
realising that life is too short to waste your time doing things that don’t bring
you a sense of joy and fulfillment. I have realised this in my own life. I have
seen the amazing impact that doing what I enjoy has had on my whole life and while
money is important, it is not the source of my happiness. It is possible to make money doing what I
love, it’s just that I need to work at it.
We have all made compromises in our lives and decisions
based on what others tell us we should do or would be good for us or with the wrong
intentions, just to make money for instance, which creates conflict and
unhappiness within us. I want to talk about how we can get back to being the ‘real
me’, or our ‘True Self.’
Our True Self is the part of us that knows what will
make us truly happy and fulfilled above all else and what it is we really want
to do in the world. However, most of us have hidden this part of ourselves and are
doing something else we don’t enjoy as much. Why? There are many reasons, for
the most part we are trying desperately to ‘fit into society’, to be accepted
and loved. We say and do things to gain recognition and praise so that people
will like us. We see friends and family doing things in a certain way and we
feel compelled to follow their path, even if it doesn’t please us. We take a job
because it is expected of us, we spend time with people doing things we don’t
enjoy because we want to fit in; we get married because it would make our
parents happy and people will stop asking ‘why are you not married yet?’
The opinions of others can affect our whole
lives; many people are still trapped by old dogmas and cultural conformities
from their families and communities. Taking on these beliefs limit personal and
spiritual growth as well as being detrimental to your emotional and
psychological health and well-being. All of these things keep us locked into a
circle of deceit with ourselves, because deep down only we know the truth and other
people are ‘none-the-wiser’ at our unhappiness. Don’t give your power away by
doing what other people want you to do, or you become weaker physically and
mentally. This is why so many people don’t feel in control of their lives’ and
depression, anxiety and stress occurs, which then leads to resentment and
bitterness. It will create a prison around you, making you feel trapped with no
way out. We cannot know ourselves or be truly happy if we try and conform in
this way.
Living in truth and
making choices aligned with our personal truths, is the key to happiness and
fulfillment. Always do what you feel is right for you and don’t get pressured into
living a life of ‘status-quo’ just to fit into societal norms. You should
always be true to yourself, even if that means upsetting a few people. It is you
that you have to live with for the rest of your life. Always be kind and
truthful to yourself. Lying to yourself is the worst kind of lying you can do –
this is negating your True Self and will make you miserable. Don’t do things
you don’t enjoy and put on a brave face, pretending all is well. If you feel
unhappy, you should let people know you are unhappy, if you are angry then make
your feelings known; the last thing you should do is put up or shut up! Unresolved
negative emotions cause diseases in the body, so allow yourself to feel
whatever emotions arise without judgement. If your family and friends love you
they will respect your decision to choose something else and live a life that makes
you happy.
People who have not conformed to societal norms and
the expectations of others are at first seen as strange or different because
they are living outside of what most people consider a normal existence, but they
are the mavericks and visionaries. It is these people who are the happiest because
they are living by their own virtues and values. And by living an extraordinary
life, they are creating change in the world for the better.
I love this quote from Jim Morrison, who sums this up
beautifully,
“That's what real love amounts to - letting a person be what
he really is. Most people love you for who you pretend to be. To keep their
love, you keep pretending - performing. You get to love your pretence. It's
true, we're locked in an image, an act - and the sad thing is, people get so
used to their image, they grow attached to their masks. They love their chains.
They forget all about who they really are. And if you try to remind them, they
hate you for it, they feel like you're trying to steal their most precious
possession.”
― Jim Morrison
 |
| Image from amazingasset.com |
How to live as your True
Self
When you live a life true
to your passion, virtues and values you are living in alignment with your True
Self. If you are not following your passions in life,
then ask yourself why not? You are here to live a happy and fulfilling life aligned
with your core values and heart’s desires, not settling for something else.
When you know why you are here, what your life’s purpose is and then start
living it, your whole life becomes full of purpose and meaning. So let’s start
getting back to who we are in truth.
To live as your True Self, you need to delve into the
innermost core of your being. I have written out a short exercise to help you
rediscover your True Self: you will need a pen and paper and a good dose of
honesty! These questions are designed to
be answered by your heart, not your head.
You must feel for the answers to the questions through your heart. If
they are true for you they will resonate with your heart and feel good.
Feelings and desires come from the soul, which is housed in the higher heart
(just above the heart chakra in the middle of the chest), and this is who we
are on a deeper level than our personality. If you feel resistance, a knotting
in the stomach, or a sense of unease, then the answer is coming from the mind –ignore
these answers as we only want answers coming from the heart. The mind can only
intellectualise and is not aware of our deeper truths and yearnings. It will
bring up all sorts of excuses, as to why you can’t do what you love and who
won’t approve. We all have our own personal truth and when we uncover these, we
can know ourselves on a deeper soul level.
This short exercise can help you to rediscover your
passion, purpose and True Self.
True Self Exercise
Write down everything that comes to you and then check
it by running it through your heart and the feeling it gives you. If it deeply
resonates and feels good, then keep it. If it feels off or you get a strange
tension in your body then cross it out, it has come from your personality self,
not from your True Self.
- Why am I here? What is it that you came here to do? What changes would you
like to see happen? What do you feel most injustice about and would like to
change? Maybe you don’t like the way animals are treated, or you would like to
see a fairer education system
- What is my passion(s)? What did you most want to be when you were young? Such as playing in a
band, being a screen writer. What creative activities do you most enjoy doing? Examples
are making things, writing, singing, dancing, painting, sports etc?
- What is my life’s
purpose? You can take this from the answers you get
from the question above. Also ask yourself, what would you want to do if money
was no object? What brings you the greatest joy to spend the most time doing?
Who has a job that you would most like to do and what qualities about this job
is it that appeals to you the most. Write down the qualities, such as
travelling for a living, interviewing, being creative, organising events,
whatever it is and then you can formulate a role for yourself that incorporates
all of these things and this is your life’s purpose.
- What are my heart’s
desires? What things make you the most happy? If you
look back at your life what would you like to say you have achieved or done?
Write down as many examples as you can
think of, such as: Go travelling around the world, swim with wild dolphins,
build an orphanage, start a charity to help disadvantaged people etc.
- What activities, places
and people bring me the most joy? Write down the
answers to this question and ask yourself. Am I spending most of my time doing
this, going there and with these people? If not how can you start incorporating
these things more into your daily life.
- What are my highest values?
Am I living a life that reflects these? Write down what values
you hold in regards to yourself and others. You may value honesty the most, or
sincerity.
- What are my gifts,
talents and abilities? How can I utilise them to help others and make a living?
Write down all the things you are good at, examples
are: cooking, making clothes, writing, being a good friend, etc then think of
ways you can use the things you are good at to help others and make a living
from it, such as creating a business making speciality preserves if you like
cooking or becoming a councillor if you are good at listening to people.
- How can I be of service
to people and the planet? Write down how you would
want to serve other people to make their lives better if you had carte blanche.
Think of all the ways you could add value to people’s lives and at the same
time help the planet. Think of examples of people who have made a big
difference in your life or the lives of many people and see how you can emulate
this.
Write down all these answers and then reread them and
you might be surprised at what you have written down. Don’t discount anything,
unless it didn’t pass the heart test. You have written it down for a reason.
Start looking at ways to incorporate these things into your life, one step at a
time - one small step leads to even bigger ones. You may even get an idea to start your own
business or a new hobby! When you know your True Self you can start living an
authentic life that reflects the real
you. You will feel so much happier, healthier and more fulfilled, and your
world will change into the life you have always wanted.
Leave your mask at home, don’t be afraid to let the
world see your true colours shining through - let them show in all their glory.
The world needs individuals, not herds of sheep. Don’t hide your light under a
bushel, as the saying goes! Be a shining example by living in truth aligned
with your highest virtues and values and let others see you and follow your
lead. Good Luck!
